Move over, Randy Marsh’s mustache—there’s a new conspiracy cooking in South Park, and it involves secret scientologists, a stroke, and one very hungry chef.
According to Isaac Hayes III, son of the late Isaac Hayes, the legendary voice behind Chef, it wasn’t Dad who quit South Park in 2006—it was Scientology leaders playing PR puppeteer, pulling Chef’s apron strings without his permission.
“It really wasn’t a big deal at the time,” Hayes III told Cracked. “That January, in 2006, my dad had a stroke, and during the course of his recovery…they re‑aired the episode. When it re‑aired, that’s when Scientology got upset.”
Yes, folks, the uproar over the infamous “Trapped in the Closet” episode—South Park’s epic takedown of Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Xenu—didn’t prompt Isaac Hayes to storm off the soundstage.
Rather, his Scientologist publicists and management team declared, “He’s out!” while Hayes Sr. was literally relearning how to talk.
“Those decisions about his involvement in the show, his leaving the show, were made by those people and not him,” Hayes III insists. “He would have never quit that show. He loved that show, and he was making a lot of money doing that show.”
Indeed, for ten seasons, Chef’s soulful sage advice—between spoonfuls of “Salisbury steak”—guided the town’s most absurd crises.
And Hayes loved the gig. As Hayes III recounts, his father “loved Matt and Trey” and would probably still be dropping culinary wisdom on Cartman’s lousy cooking if he were still with us today.
Instead, under pressure from his Scientology inner circle, Hayes Sr. lost his South Park paycheck.
The consequences?
A grueling return to road tours “before he was ready,” disrupting his stroke recovery—and, as Hayes III points out, his health suffered further when:
“What I recall from Scientology is, they weren’t big on modern medicine. They were more into holistic things. So even the medication that he was probably supposed to be taking, he probably wasn’t taking.”
One can almost hear Chef admonishing us to “follow the science, children,” but Chef was silenced—until now.
In 2016, Hayes III first dropped this bombshell:
“Isaac Hayes did not quit South Park; someone quit South Park for him…Everyone around my father was involved in Scientology—his assistants, the core group of people. So someone quit South Park on Isaac Hayes’ behalf. We don’t know who.”
Who indeed...
Now that Hayes III has unfurled the conspiracy spatula, the question what happened to Chef on South Park has been clarified.
Regardless, we’ll always have reruns—and Salisbury Steak Day, which Hayes III still champions.
Because if Chef taught us anything, it’s that no matter how many conspiracies swirl, “children, remember to eat your veggies…or at least your Salisbury steak.”
So let’s raise a spatula to Chef, salute Isaac Hayes Sr.’s musical legacy, and tip our hats to Hayes III for finally calling out the cooks behind this mysterious cancellation stew.
Bon appétit, South Park fans!
South Park Creators Scathing Statement On Delays By Paramount / Skydance Merger
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