Five years ago, Ohioans got the shocking news that the world’s most expensive under-the‑table barbecue—er, bribery scheme—had sizzled up a $1 billion nuclear bailout, plus extra coal-plant subsidies, courtesy of FirstEnergy Corp.’s clandestine $60 million slush fund.
Today, the votes have been counted, the lobbyists have lobbied, and the only thing that’s really changed is our electric bills aren’t getting any cheaper.
Meet the Racketeers
On July 21, 2020, Congress and the courthouse collectively face‑palmed as ex-House Speaker Larry Householder and four cohorts were arrested in the biggest infrastructure scandal in U.S. history.
Householder is now doing 20 years in federal prison—plenty of time to ponder the irony of an electricity honcho living behind bars.
Two cronies pleaded guilty, one unsuccessfully appealed, and sadly, one associate died by suicide. If only they’d wired up an ethics alarm instead of a back‑door payout.
Dark Money: Still Pitch Black
Promised reforms? Elusive. Former U.S. Attorney David DeVillers, who led the probe, laments,
“I think it’s actually worse than it was before. Nationally, you have both Democrats and Republicans using these, so there’s no political will to do anything about it.”
He’s referring to 501(c)(4) “dark money” groups—think of them as campaign coffers in the witness protection program.
According to a Brennan Center study, dark money in 2024 nearly doubled 2020’s total, hitting $1.9 billion in federal races.
So while Ohio’s scandal was supposed to be a cautionary tale, it’s looking more like a franchise.
Anti‑Corruption: A Legislative Generator That Won’t Start
Ohio Democrats have sprinted to introduce anti‑corruption bills, but the GOP‑dominated Legislature claims it can’t touch federal campaign finance.
Cue the crickets.
Meanwhile, ratepayers are still footing a $445,679 daily tab for those extra Cold War–era coal-plant subsidies that won’t disappear until August 14—with over $500 million and counting on Ohio Consumers’ Counsel Maureen Willis’ ticker.
FirstEnergy’s Seat‑Belt Check
FirstEnergy admitted to bribery, ponied up $230 million to dodge prosecution, and took a $100 million SEC smackdown—but escaped punishment at the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio (PUCO) level.
As Willis scolds,
“They never actually got penalized by regulators at the PUCO level.”
PUCO finally kicked off four delayed proceedings last month to probe whether consumer-funded grid upgrades were secretly funneled into bribes.
PUCO Chair Jenifer French brags about revamped ethics training and never meeting alone, as if bribery is just a bad Tinder date.
PUCO spokesperson Matt Schilling promises the commission will “take proceedings wherever the facts lead”—though one suspects it might need a GPS tracker.
Still No Refunds…But Plenty of Excuses
Retired PUCO commissioner Ashley Brown points out that only PUCO can order FirstEnergy to return tainted cash to customers.
Instead, we’ve seen corporate restructures, a shiny new ethics office, and Jennifer Young, FirstEnergy’s spokesperson, assuring us,
“FirstEnergy is a far different company today than it was five years ago.”
Unfortunately, “different” hasn’t translated into “refund.” Brown wonders aloud,
“How do you allow a utility to operate a vast criminal conspiracy within the utility (with) consumer dollars, and you don’t even look at what went wrong?”
Five Years On: Groundhog Day for Justice
Between Householder’s cellblock, dark‑money TV ads, and daily rate hikes, Ohio’s grand anti‑bribery finale has felt more like a looping rerun.
Critics agree: unless we strengthen federal campaign‑finance law, empower state regulators to claw back every tainted dime, and truly ban brick‑thick dark‑money groups, the next power grab will simply add another zero to your bill.
After all, we’ve been promised “never again” since House Bill 6, yet here we are—still paying for someone else’s political fireworks.
Ohioans might soon be justified in demanding not just clean energy, but clean politics as well.
The Art of Lying: From Watergate to “Whatever!!”
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