Postal Police Stuck Behind ‘Keep Out’ Signs While Mailmen Face Muggers: You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!!

As crime against letter carriers surges, one would think that America’s armed, uniformed Postal Police might be hitting the streets to protect our mail. 

Instead, they’re still glued to their post office entrances like sentries guarding Fort Frownmore. 

Why? 

Because since 2020, the Postmaster General decreed they must “protect postal property” only—meaning, they currently serve as glorified lobby bouncers rather than actual roaming guardians of the mailstream.

They’re robbing letter carriers, they’re sticking a gun in a letter carrier’s face and they’re demanding arrow keys,” laments Frank Albergo, president of the National Postal Police Union and a Postal Police Officer himself. 

An "arrow key" in the context of the Post Office is a specialized, universal key that postal workers use to access various locked mail receptacles, including collection boxes, apartment mailboxes, and cluster boxes.

Albergo isn’t exaggerating—research shows over 100 physical assaults against New York mail carriers in Queens during the past five years,as well as 42 robberies in Manhattan and 11 burglaries in Brooklyn

And that's just one state! 

This has become commonplace around the US and has risen steadily. 

“Right now mail is being stolen, letter carriers are being attacked, identities are stolen, bank accounts drained and the Postal Service has a police force that it refuses to use. Postal police are basically on the sideline watching this debacle unfold.

Pause for a moment and let that sink in: America’s dedicated Postal Police—450 strong nationwide—are confined to their beloved mail temples, while armed criminals treat letter carriers like open wallets. 

To visualize: imagine firefighters told to “only guard the fire station building” while the city goes up in flames. You’d laugh if it weren’t so infuriating.

Naturally, Congress has tried to unshackle these paper-pushing law enforcers from their post office gilded cages. 

Multiple bills aim to restore full patrol powers to the Postal Police, letting them chase suspects on sidewalks and intervene in muggings. None have passed. 

Meanwhile, the Postal Inspection Service, which handles mailstream crimes, claims it’s enough—because who needs flashy uniforms wielding guns on street corners when you have dedicated, plainclothes inspectors sniffing out postal crime?

In a statement, the Postal Service insists that the union’s complaints are “legally and factually incorrect.” 

They claim uniformed officers guard high-value mail hubs, deter criminals, and respond to emergencies—all within postal property

“Removing those officers from Postal Service property… would put at risk not only postal facilities, but the large concentration of employees and customers who use those facilities every day,” they argue. 

Translation: If you unshackle them, the post office might—gulp—lose a single well-guarded stamp. 

Apparently, that’s a fate worse than seeing a letter carrier wrestle a knife-wielding bandit down the block.

Meanwhile in the streets, criminals are literally demanding “arrow keys”—those shiny, golden skeleton keys that open cluster mailboxes. 

One perp might think, “Hey, if Amazon can track my package, I can track that dude’s arrow key for quick cash!” 

Criminals are now eyeing every mail truck like it’s a mobile ATM, snatching packages and, worse, mugging carriers for the all-important keys. 

The Postal Police, wearing sleek navy uniforms and sporting badges, could swoop in and say “Not on my watch,” but alas—they’re too busy watching the security cameras in the vestibule.

But wait—there’s more!  

Project Safe Delivery, launched by the Postal Inspection Service in May 2023, has proudly led to a 27% drop in robberies from FY2023 to FY2024 thanks to arrests by plainclothes inspectors. Celebrate! 

Except that means our uniformed Postal Police watch their plum case load of mailbox burglary reports shrink—while the real baddies keep following carriers who dare to step outside.

Gearing Up for 2025: As lawmakers reintroduce bills, our Postal Police stand ready to leap from building guardians to true street cops—if only the Postmaster General would hand them the keys!! (pun intended) 

Albergo pledges: “There’s a lot that could be done that’s not being done.” Indeed. We propose a bold new slogan: “Postal Police—Not Just Protecting Buildings, But Your Saga of Stamps, Too!

Until then, letter carriers in New York lug their mailbags with one eye on their routes and the other scanning for muggers, all while lobby-bound Postal Police salute them from afar. 

Maybe, just maybe, when a letter carrier gets robbed for the fifth time this month, our postal overlords will finally let their uniformed protectors venture outside. 

In the meantime, keep your mail close and your letter carrier closer—because apparently, that’s the safest protection money can buy.

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  1. #PostalPoliceParadox

  2. #MailMuggingMadness

  3. #ArrowKeysWorthGold

  4. #ProtectThePostOffice

  5. #LetPostalPolicePatrol

  6. #MailMerchantsUnderFire

  7. #SafeDeliveryFail

  8. #PostalProtectionPlease

  9. #CarrierCrimesClimb

  10. #StreetCrimeVsStampCrime

  11. #ProjectSafeDelivery

  12. #KeysAndKa-ching

  13. #MailstreamMeltdown

  14. #PostOfficePolicePrequel

  15. #UnlockThePostalForce

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