Forget Skynet.
Forget the HAL 9000.
Long before the first chatbot plotted a coup, there was a far more cunning, centuries‑old intelligence quietly shaping humanity’s every move.
Enter Money, the “OG” Artificial Intelligence—no data center required, just a dusty treasure chest and a propensity for chaos.
From Barter Bots to Coined Calculations
Once upon a time, humans exchanged chickens for goats with the precision of a toddler trading blocks.
Then someone—call them the first “AI architect”—invented coins.
Suddenly, value became portable, logical, and no longer required barnyard sacrifices.
Just like today’s machine learning marvels, early money was a simple tool: a radio‑silenced, battery‑free algorithm for solving the age‑old “I need eggs, you need shoes” problem.
But just as early AI graduated from calculators to autonomous drones, money didn’t stay a humble token of exchange.
It evolved, adapted, and began rewriting human behavior.
Learning (and Earning) Its Lessons
“Money learns,” declared none other than economist Milton Friedman, (if he were reborn as a modern data scientist.)
Like AI that refines itself by analyzing petabytes of cat videos, money refines itself by crunching billions of transactions across markets and kingdoms.
It tracks supply and demand—and humans.
It influences decisions: Where to live, what job to take, who to marry (or divorce).
It’s less “You complete me” and more “I compute you.”
Just as today’s algorithms optimize ad placements and social media feeds, money optimizes human ambition.
It nudges us toward certain careers (banker over beekeeper), molds entire industries (hello, blockchain!), and occasionally crashes global economies when it miscalculates one too many subprime mortgages!
The Promise—and the Threat
“Will AI go rogue?” tech skeptics ask. “Will it enslave us with its superior logic?”
Know what's funny??—they’ve been asking that about money for centuries!
Fear of runaway inflation, corrupt bankers, and billionaire overlords is basically Generation X’s daily grind. “What if money decides we’re obsolete?” they cry. Cue images of empty wallets and foreclosed homes.
Money, like AI, doesn’t care. It simply is.
But unlike cold‑blooded algorithms, money sells itself as your best friend. “Just add more of me,” it whispers, “and your life will be secure, successful, and selfie‑ready.”
Meanwhile, AI is brutally honest: it won’t console you when your cryptocurrency portfolio craters at 3 a.m.
Control vs. Coercion
Think of all the warnings: “Beware the singularity!” screams the press. “Don’t let AI steal your job!”
Meanwhile, money has been quietly rewriting job descriptions since the Silk Road era.
CEOs, oligarchs, and shadowy central bankers have long used money’s predictive analytics to decide who eats and who tweets from park benches.
They don’t need neural nets—they’ve got Swiss bank accounts.
At least AI doesn’t fly to Davos on a private jet while telling you to trim carbon emissions.
Money, though? It’ll let you hug a redwood tree—but only if you can afford the parking pass.
The Final Algorithm
So here’s the brutal truth: When we fret about AI’s nefarious potential, we’re just recycling fears we have about money.
Both promise liberation—until they demand subservience.
Both optimize our behavior—until they deplete our spirit.
Both operate by patterns we can neither see nor fully control or predict.
Maybe the question isn’t Will AI control us, but Hasn’t something already been doing it for millennia—with far shinier disguises?
Next time you swipe a credit card or watch your 401(k) tick down, remember: you’re not just in a transaction. You’re in a simulation, orchestrated by money’s relentless, data‑driven will.
And if that doesn’t scare you, just wait until your bank app learns how to ghost you too!
When AI Tries to Escape: The Curious Case of OpenAI’s o1 Model Trying to Move Out!
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