Somewhere in the great, cosmic joke that is human civilization, someone decided that society needed to be structured like an exclusive VIP lounge.
There are the gods—the chosen few with high intellect, connections, and disturbingly good hair—and then there are the clods—the people who keep everything running while the gods take credit for their existence.
It’s a beautiful, delicate balance. The gods fly private jets to climate summits to tell clods to stop using plastic straws.
Clods fix the plumbing in the gods' mansions while the gods draft laws to cut wages. Everyone has a role. Everyone is happy. At least, that’s what the gods keep saying.
The Natural Order (As Decided by the Gods, Of Course)
From the moment humans started forming civilizations (or at least, when one caveman figured out how to delegate mammoth-hunting duties), society has run on this unwritten rule: some people are born to rule, and others are born to make sure the rulers never have to pump their own gas.
Of course, clods occasionally start asking pesky questions like, Why does Jeff Bezos have a personal spaceship while I have to split a two-bedroom apartment with four roommates and a cat that isn’t even mine?
This is where the gods gently remind them that "hard work pays off" and "you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps"—a phrase that conveniently ignores the fact that bootstraps don’t work that way.
Power Doesn’t Corrupt—Corrupt People Seek Power
Some argue that power corrupts, but that gives power too much credit. Power is just sitting there, waiting for someone to grab it.
The real issue is that the people most drawn to power are usually the ones who shouldn’t be anywhere near it.
It’s like a reality show where the most unhinged contestant somehow always wins. The people who desperately want to rule are often the last people you’d trust to make a sandwich, let alone make life altering decisions.
Meanwhile, the clods—who might actually make decent leaders—are too busy working 60-hour weeks to even consider applying for the job.
Why the System Will Never Change (Sorry, Clods)
Every once in a while, the clods try to change the system. They march, protest, vote, and write angry tweets.
And sometimes, it even works—for a moment.
But then, the newly empowered clods suddenly find themselves in the position of the gods, and before you know it, they’re arguing about which type of imported water should be served at their fundraising gala!
It’s an endless cycle.
No matter how noble the cause, the moment someone gets a taste of godhood, they start thinking, Maybe the clods are happy where they are. Who am I to take away their joy of bagging groceries for minimum wage?
The Harsh Reality: You Are Probably a Clod
If you’re reading this and thinking, I bet I’m one of the gods!—I regret to inform you that if you were truly a god, you wouldn’t be reading articles; you'd be making decisions that affect the people who read them. I myself am a clod.
The gods don’t need to contemplate their status—they’re too busy getting custom-made suits and pretending to understand economics.
So what can be done? Not much, honestly.
The gods will keep ruling, the clods will keep laboring, and every now and then, someone will come up with a radical new political theory that promises to fix everything—only for it to somehow make things worse.
At the end of the day, the best thing a clod can do is sit back, enjoy the absurdity of it all, and maybe—just maybe—find a way to sneak into the god club.
But fair warning: once you get there, you might realize it’s not as fun as it looks.
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