Canal Conundrum PT 4: Panamanians Tell Mulino and Trump to Keep Their Boots (and Bullets) Off Our Boats

Panama City erupted in a sea of whistles, megaphones, and homemade “Hands Off Our Canal!” placards, as thousands of students, workers, and ex-conquistadors (just kidding on that last one) poured into the streets. 

Their beef? 

President José Raúl Mulino’s new deal to let U.S. troops waltz onto Panamanian bases along the canal—plus a side order of copper-mine reopenings and social-security “reforms” that have locals screaming, “¿Otra vez?” (“Again?”).

“First They Came for the Canal…”
It seems that Donald Trump’s musketeer campaign to “take back” the canal, built and controlled by the U.S. until 1999, spooked Mulino into a face-saving concession: invite Uncle Sam’s soldiers back for “training, exercises, and other activities.” 

Critics say it’s less about brazen defiance and more about brazenly defying sovereignty. 

A 27-year-old protester named Isaac Alba summed it up: “Since Mulino took office, everything’s gone to hell.”

Miners vs. Minders
As if foreign troops weren’t enough, Mulino also pitched reopening a giant open-pit copper mine that would make Pandora’s jewelry box look petite. 

Cue chants of “No more holes in our souls!” from environmentalists and anyone with a nose for dust.

Social Security or Social Insecurity?
The final nail in Mulino’s approval coffin: proposed social-security tweaks that critics say will slide retiree benefits right down the chute. 

“My abuela can barely balance her checkbook,” says a grocery cashier wearing a protest sign and a sombrero (because why not?). “Now you want her to balance her own pension?”

From Noriega to Noggin-Rattling
Many Panamanians still bristle at the memory of the 1989 U.S. invasion to oust General Manuel Noriega. 

Marchers waved banners reading “Noriega Was Bad, This Is Worse!” and serenaded the canal locks with a rousing chorus of “Back Off, Gringos!”

Mulino’s Multitasking Meltdown
The government insists the U.S. presence will be as innocuous as a canal tour—just a few dozen troops practicing amphibious yoga and friendly shout-outs in English. 

But with protesters camping outside Mulino’s palace, pulling a three-week-long sit-in, it’s clear they’d rather see a new shipping schedule than a new military schedule.

Canal Towels Not Included
So far, Mulino has remained mum, promising only to “listen” to the people—which in political speak often means “nod politely while our advisors hide the calls.” 

Meanwhile, Panama’s iconic pink flamingos have reportedly started wearing protest hats, and a local toucan opened a TinyURL petition.

As the sun set over the nervous canal waters, one thing was certain: when it comes to defending sovereignty, Panamanians will let no one drill holes in their democracy—be it for copper or camouflage.

Canal Conundrum PT 3: U.S. Troops Take a Backseat to Panama's Sovereignty (Sorta) 

HOW THE PANAMA CANAL WORKS...

 

 Please support my writing by donating $1 at https://buymeacoffee.com/doublejeopardynews

 

---

1. #CanalChaos

2. #HandsOffOurCanal

3. #MulinoMeltdown

4. #GringosGoHome

5. #CopperMineOutrage

6. #SocialSecuritySnafu

7. #PanamaCityProtests

8. #NoForeignTroops

9. #FromNoriegaToNoggin

10. #FlamingosForFreedom

11. #ToucanTinyURL

12. #CanalNotForSale

13. #ProtestAndParade

14. #SovereigntySquad

15. #BackOffGringos