Manners, Lies, and Election Ties
For centuries, they had upheld a simple truth: when someone was too polite, it meant they were hiding something.
“You know,” grumbled old Hans, stirring his coffee, “when an American tells you, ‘Let’s get lunch sometime,’ what they really mean is ‘I never want to see you again.’”
The others nodded sagely. Lies draped in courtesy were a well-documented phenomenon.
But in recent years, they had watched in horror as politicians took this deceptive politeness and turned it into an art form.
Enter Senator Richard "Dick" Bellows, a career politician with a smile so polished it could blind a seagull.
He had built an empire on nodding enthusiastically while saying absolutely nothing.
When asked about taxes, he’d say, “We’re looking into ways to make life easier for hardworking families.”
When pressed on healthcare, he’d reply, “We believe in access for all.”
His words were so vague and pleasant that no one could argue with them—but they also meant absolutely nothing.
The Dutch elders saw right through it.
“That man is lying,” muttered Piet, an 82-year-old former tulip farmer.
“How can you tell?” asked a tourist from America, marveling at the group’s conviction.
“Because he’s too polite,” snapped Hans. “Look at that smile. Too many teeth. A true Dutchman would just tell you, ‘Your plan is dumb and you smell funny.’”
Back in the political arena, Senator Bellows was gearing up for re-election.
His team had studied the art of polite deception to perfection.
His campaign slogan? “A Better Future for Everyone.”
What did it mean? Nothing. And that was the beauty of it.
At a televised debate, his opponent, a gruff and blunt ex-police chief named Janet “No-Bull” Henderson, shocked the audience with an unfiltered approach.
“Senator Bellows,” she barked, “you’ve promised to cut taxes while increasing spending. That’s mathematically impossible unless you’re planning to rob a bank. So which is it?”
Bellows gave his trademark grin. “We must consider all angles and approach this with thoughtfulness.”
Janet blinked. “That’s not an answer.”
“The future is bright,” Bellows added, his voice warm and fatherly.
Somewhere in Westerhoven, old Hans choked on his stroopwafel. “He’s doing it again!”
By election day, the people had a choice: comforting lies wrapped in honeyed words or the brutal, unvarnished truth.
Bellows won in a landslide.
After all, when given the choice, people often preferred a beautiful lie over an ugly truth.
And in politics, as the Dutch already knew, politeness was just another form of deception.
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