Skip to main content

Cruise Passengers Ordered to Blackout Because of Pirates Like It’s the Apocalypse

 

The Queen Anne: Luxury, Elegance, and a Sprinkle of Maritime Terror

Passengers aboard the Cunard luxury cruise liner Queen Anne were recently given a charming little reminder that, despite their all-you-can-eat buffets and luxury staterooms, the ocean is still a lawless frontier.

As the 113,000-ton floating paradise sailed from Darwin, Australia, to Manila, Philippines, guests expecting another night of martinis and soft jazz were instead treated to a thrilling public service announcement:

🚨 “This area is known for piracy threats.” 🚨

Ah, nothing sets the mood for a relaxing vacation quite like being told to turn off your bedroom lights so modern-day pirates don’t spot you from their dinghies.

Precautions, or Prepping for a Horror Movie?

Passengers were given a step-by-step guide on how not to become the star of their own hostage situation:
✔️ Turn off bedroom lights – Because nothing screams "luxury getaway" like total darkness.
✔️ Keep curtains drawn – No free peep shows for pirates.
✔️ Promenade deck closed overnight – Because moonlit walks are for people who aren’t in pirate-infested waters.

Despite the unsettling news, Cunard reassured passengers that everything was fine.
"The likelihood of an attack on a big ship like Queen Anne is absolutely minimal," the announcement continued, with a level of confidence usually reserved for Titanic passengers in 1912.

TikTok Goes Viral: "Tonight’s Dinner Special: Fear"

TikTok user @cruisegypsyuk, also known as Lilly Da Pink, posted a video of the announcement, which racked up over 8 million views—because nothing excites the internet more than a high-stakes reality show playing out in real life.

Lilly later praised the onboard security for their vigilance, saying:
"So all the blinds were shut, and the lights were down to the minimum last night. The security did an amazing job keeping watch over the ship last night. Well done, guys."

Translation: We survived the night, but I didn’t pay $10,000 for an ocean-view suite just to spend the trip huddled in darkness like a Victorian child avoiding the plague.


Cruise Ships Have Sonic Weapons. Yes, Really.

To ease concerns, passengers were shown the ship’s Long-Range Acoustic Device (LRAD), which is basically a sonic cannon designed to blast pirates with an ear-piercing noise.

Because if there’s one thing that will deter a heavily armed pirate, it’s an aggressive dolphin mating call at 162 decibels.

A History of High-Seas Hijinks

The Sulu-Celebes Sea has been a hotbed for kidnapping-for-ransom operations by groups like Abu Sayyaf, but the last significant pirate attack on a cruise ship was in 2009—and those passengers got away unscathed.

So, while guests aboard the Queen Anne may have briefly entertained visions of Johnny Depp storming the Lido Deck, it turns out the scariest thing on the cruise was still the buffet shrimp left out for too long!

Final Thoughts: Next Time, Just Take a Plane

As the Queen Anne continues its 111-night world tour, making stops in Vietnam, South Africa, Singapore, and Malaysia, one thing is certain: Passengers will never look at “Captain’s Night” the same way again.

 

 

Please support my writing by donating $1 at https://ko-fi.com/wilchard1102

 

#PiratesOfTheCunard
#LuxuryMeetsTerror
#LiveLaughLurkInDarkness
#BlackoutOrBeBoarded
#FiveStarFear
#MartinisAndMayhem
#NoMoonlitDinnersTonight
#SonicCannonSavesTheDay
#PiratesHateJazzToo
#LuxuryWithASideOfDanger
#WePaidForThis?!
#HoneymoonInTheDark
#AllYouCanEatAndEvade
#CruiseSurvival101
#LightsOutLads

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Please Help Find These Forgotten Girls Held at Male Juvenile Prison for Over a Year!

  MY MOST IMPORTANT STORY  Dozens of Forgotten Little Girls Held at Male Juvenile Prison for Over a Year! Welcome to the Sunshine State , where the palm trees sway, the alligators lurk, and the legislative process makes Kafka look like a life coach!  Florida House Bill HB21 . Not just a compensation bill but possibly a 20 million dollar "Stay out of Jail Free" card for some folks. This is a bill that does some good—but also trips over its own shoelaces, falls down a staircase, and lands on a historical oversight so big, it might as well have its own zip code! An oversight that overlooks what I consider to be its most vulnerable victims! The Setup: Justice with a Catch HB21 was enacted on July 1, 2024 to compensate victims of abuse from two male juvenile detention facilities located in Florida, Dozier and Okeechobee.  It says, “Hey, survivors of abuse between 1940 and 1975, here’s some compensation for the horrific things you endured!” Sounds good, right? Like...
Post a Comment
Read more

We Are Temporarily Halting Further Publication....

Do to financial issues and lack of funding we are temporarily halting further publication. After a full year of publication, we have reached a bridge that we are unable to cross at this time. We may periodically publish an article but at this time, full-time publication is no longer feasible. Thank you to all the readers who followed us throughout our journey and we wish you the very best. Hopefully we will see our way through this rough patch and will resume publication in the near future. Thanks again! Robert B.
Post a Comment
Read more

Postal Police Stuck Behind ‘Keep Out’ Signs While Mailmen Face Muggers: You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!!

As crime against letter carriers surges, one would think that America’s armed, uniformed Postal Police might be hitting the streets to protect our mail.  Instead, they’re still glued to their post office entrances like sentries guarding Fort Frownmore.  Why?  Because since 2020, the Postmaster General decreed they must “protect postal property” only—meaning, they currently serve as glorified lobby bouncers rather than actual roaming guardians of the mailstream. “ They’re robbing letter carriers, they’re sticking a gun in a letter carrier’s face and they’re demanding arrow keys, ” laments Frank Albergo , president of the National Postal Police Union and a Postal Police Officer himself.  An "arrow key" in the context of the Post Office is a specialized, universal key that postal workers use to access various locked mail receptacles, including collection boxes, apartment mailboxes, and cluster boxes. Albergo isn’t exaggerating—research shows over 100 physical assaul...
Post a Comment
Read more