The Seven Deadly Sins of Coworkers: Welcome to the Workplace "Game of Thrones"
No matter what field you work in, chances are you’ve encountered one of the seven deadly sins of coworkers, as outlined by a workplace psychologist.
These aren’t your everyday annoyances like the guy who microwaves fish or the person who replies-all to emails that clearly didn’t need a group response.
No, these are the true villains of the corporate underworld—the ones who make you fantasize about dropping your resignation letter in their inbox with the subject line: "I quit because of YOU."
Let’s break down the worst of the worst.
The Kiss-Up-Kick-Downer: Corporate Brown-Nosing Meets WWE SmackDown
This person is basically an office politician who moonlights as a part-time gladiator. To the boss? They’re sunshine and rainbows, nodding aggressively and laughing too hard at terrible jokes. But the second their boss leaves the room, they turn into a budget version of a Game of Thrones villain, making life miserable for anyone beneath them on the food chain.
The red flag? If they ever say "I really respect leadership’s vision," while simultaneously deleting your project files, run.
Survival tip: Document everything. Take screenshots, keep emails, and, if necessary, install a body cam.
The Credit Stealer: The Original Workplace Parasite
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of watching someone take credit for your work while you sit there like a stunned extra in a horror movie, you’ve met a credit stealer. These folks are like human versions of autocorrect—constantly inserting themselves where they don’t belong, and somehow making everything worse.
They thrive in team environments, where group work creates a blurry line between "collaboration" and "theft." They show up just in time to send the final email and suddenly, they’re the face of the project you’ve been sweating over for three weeks.
Survival tip: Start CC’ing your boss on everything and casually drop phrases like "As discussed in my previous email…" as often as humanly possible.
There are two types of bulldozers.
The first one talks so much that meetings feel like hostage situations.
The second works behind the scenes, scheming like a Bond villain to ensure their ideas reign supreme.
Either way, bulldozers will bulldoze you.
The key sign?
If they start sentences with "Well, actually…" brace yourself.
Survival tip: Never rely on a bulldozer to advocate for your ideas. Get your boss involved early and practice strategic interruptions—"That’s a great point, but let’s circle back to the original discussion before we rename the entire company after you, Chad."
The Free Rider: The Houdini of Hard Work
You know that one coworker who magically disappears whenever work is being assigned, but somehow reappears just in time for the victory lap? Yeah.
Their main skills include being just charming enough to get away with it, volunteering to “take notes” in meetings (a.k.a. doing absolutely nothing), and putting their name on group projects like they contributed more than moral support.
Survival tip: Keep a detailed task list. When they inevitably say "Oh, I thought we were all working on this together!" you can smile and say, "Actually, here’s a breakdown of what everyone’s doing, including what you haven’t started yet."
The Micromanager: Because Nothing Boosts Productivity Like Panic Attacks
Micromanagers operate under the philosophy that if they’re not breathing down your neck, you might suddenly forget how to function as an adult human being.
They will email you asking for a progress update while you are mid-task. They will ask for weekly reports on things that could be summarized in a single sentence. They will correct your font choice in PowerPoint slides like their life depends on it.
Survival tip: Set boundaries. Say something like "I’ll send you updates at noon and at 4 p.m. so you don’t have to worry about checking in constantly." And then watch as they vibrate with anxiety at the mere thought of not knowing what you’re doing every second of the day.
The Neglectful Boss: The Human Equivalent of an Out-of-Office Reply
Neglectful bosses are the opposite of micromanagers—they don’t care what you’re doing… until suddenly, they really care. They’ll ignore you for weeks, then swoop in at the last minute to ask why the project wasn’t done exactly the way they imagined (even though they never actually told you their expectations).
They are masters of the "I’ve been busy with higher-level things" excuse, despite all evidence suggesting they’ve been watching golf highlights on their work computer.
Survival tip: Manage them by proactively setting up check-ins. If they still ignore you, at least you’ll have proof when they ask, "Why didn’t you tell me about this?!"
The Gaslighter: The Workplace Villain Who Makes You Question Reality
Gaslighters are a special breed of workplace evil. One day, you’re convinced that your report was due Friday. The next, they’re telling you they never said that, despite clear email evidence that they did.
Their tactics include:
- Denying they ever gave you instructions
- Making you feel crazy for remembering things correctly
- Pretending they have always been supportive, despite the emotional trail of destruction they leave behind
Survival tip: Write. Everything. Down. If they try to manipulate reality, hit them with a "Here’s what you said last week!" and enjoy the awkward silence that follows.
Final Thoughts: Surviving the Corporate Hunger Games
No matter which workplace jerk you’re dealing with, remember: knowledge is power. Once you identify these office antagonists, you can develop strategies to outmaneuver them.
Or, if all else fails, just start responding to their nonsense with "Per my last email…" and let passive aggression be your new best friend.
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