Egg Giants Are Cashing In While We Get Fried: Shell Games & Scrambled Subsidies

 

It’s a tough scramble out there for egg lovers: a dozen now sets you back $6.23—nearly five times what it cost in 2020—while America’s largest egg producer, Cal-Maine Foods, pocketed a cool $509 million in profits this quarter. 

But don’t forget to thank Uncle Sam: the same egg cartels gouging your omelets have also been clucking up $22 million in avian flu “relief” and tapping into a $1 billion payout pool since 2022.

When Life Gives You Flu, Make Profits
Avian influenza decimated 115 million laying hens over two years—surely a disaster, except that total egg production dipped just 4%. 

Yet producers seized the “crisis” to jacked-up prices, earning record margins while consumers got scrambled over soaring grocery bills. 

Now the DOJ is eyeing Cal-Maine for alleged price-fixing, though the company’s balance sheet might need a price-fixing investigation of its own.

Bailouts with No Strings Attached (Except the Ones That Squeeze Consumers)
Under USDA’s indemnity program, farms that destroy birds during outbreaks get reimbursed—no questions asked. 

Worse, the larger the outbreak, the fatter the government check: an incentive structure that’s about as biosecure as leaving your front door open and feeding chickens peanut butter. 

Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins could, on a whim, require “fair pricing” for recipients of relief funds—but so far she’s preferred letting egg titans keep both subsidies and sky-high margins.

A Farm Bill Shell Shock
Congress could step in with the next farm bill or beef up the Defense Production Act’s price-gouging ban—but only if lawmakers remember what it’s like to afford breakfast. 

Back in the day, Washington routinely cracked down on price spikes; now, policymakers seem content to watch shoppers pay a premium for subsidized stockpiles of chicken feed.

The Recipe for Reform
Consumer advocates propose tying indemnity payments to a simple formula: cost plus a modest, pre-avian-flu profit margin. No more golden eggs for the boardroom while families get the shell end of the deal. 

If Congress won’t act, a heroic USDA secretary could impose regulations requiring fair pricing in exchange for taxpayer handouts—though don’t count on that unless Brooks Brothers slip into rubber boots.

Until then, expect egg producers to keep playing shell games: hatching record profits, pocketing government bailouts, and leaving American shoppers with nothing but expensive omelets and an empty breakfast plate.

 

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