DEP Serves Search Warrant: Dives Into Gulf World Marine Park's Murky Waters
In a splashy display of due process, Florida DEP officers served a search warrant at Florida's Gulf World Marine Park Wednesday, netting water samples, staff testimony—and a flock of flustered sea turtles.
Turtle Eviction Notice
Park workers hurriedly shuttled turtles out of the Marine Institute’s pond after City Building Inspectors flagged “deficiencies”—including a pool that apparently moonlights as a therapy spa for leaking pipes.
PCB Mayor Stuart Tettemer diplomatically noted, “Two areas need remedying: the turtle pool and the stingray petting pool.”
The turtles, oblivious to local politics, paddled off pondering their next gig in “Turtle: The Musical.”
Stingrays on Strike
Meanwhile, the stingrays got a raw deal: unprotected outlets and standing water made their petting pool the aquatic equivalent of a wet-dog zap.
Though still advertised online, the pool remains officially off-limits—prompting stingrays to demand hazard pay.
The Inspection Itch
Other hotspots under the microscope: the scuba room (leakier than a submarine), dolphin stadium (echoing with squeaky flaw alarms), and the indoor bird area (aviary OSHA says needs better perches).
Tettemer assures residents that animal welfare’s handled by “external agencies,” while the city sticks to its real passion: citing dodgy buildings.
Shell-Shocked Protest
Feeling amphibiously misrepresented, animal-rights activists have scheduled a protest this Saturday at 10 a.m. outside Gulf World in tandem with “Empty the Tanks.”
Expect signs like “Free the Flippers!” and heartfelt renditions of “Under the Sea.”
As the DEP delves deeper into Gulf World’s plumbing, one thing’s clear: when bureaucracy meets marine biology, the only thing getting wet might be someone’s paperwork.
Florida’s Gulf World Raided: Aquatic Misadventures Under Scrutiny
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