Skip to main content

Denmark Summons U.S. Ambassador Over Rumored Greenland Spying


In a diplomatic plot twist chillier than a Greenland iceberg, Denmark’s Foreign Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen announced Tuesday that he’s summoning the U.S. acting ambassador over reports that American spy agencies have been told to focus on Greenland—because nothing says “friendly allies” like secret missions on a fellow NATO member’s icy turf.

“We Do Not Spy on Friends—Especially Not If They’re Cold”
Rasmussen, fresh off an EU ministers meeting in Warsaw, called the Wall Street Journal exposé “somewhat disturbing.” “It worries me greatly because we do not spy on friends,” he declared, clutching his warmest sweater. 

Meanwhile, the Danish Security Service (PET) confessed it had “naturally” noticed increased espionage interest in Greenland—but insists Denmark isn’t offering icebergs as bribes.

Spy vs. Spy vs. President
According to the Journal, U.S. agencies have been directed to snoop on Greenland’s independence movement and its troves of rare-earth minerals—just weeks after President Trump mused about “cherishing” Greenland’s tiny population and “not ruling out” military force to seize it. 

In response, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard (yes, that Tulsi) accused the Journal of “undermining our democracy” by leaking the classified gossip faster than a cruise ship passing Nuuk.

Greenland Says “Go Fish”
Greenland’s own politicians have rallied in Arctic solidarity, waving banners reading “Hands Off Our Ice!” and “Denmark’s Problem, Not Yours!” 

Polls show most Greenlander's dream of independence—but definitely not a new flag with stars and stripes.


Vance Visits, Greenland Cringes
The spat follows Vice President JD Vance’s March tour of a remote U.S. base in Greenland, which Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen blasted as “unacceptable pressure.” She added, “If you want our minerals, bring cookies, not boots.”

Biden’s Bafflement
Former President Joe Biden, speaking from his post-presidential beach house (sans ice), summed it up best: “What the hell’s going on here? We’re about freedom and democracy, not ‘finders-keepers’ for real estate.”

As Denmark prepares to politely grill the U.S. envoy over cocoa and diplomatic notes, one thing’s clear: if you’re going to poke at Greenland, you’d better bring more than binoculars—you’ll need a warm invitation.


 

 Please support my writing by donating $1 at https://buymeacoffee.com/doublejeopardynews


  1. #ColdShoulderDiplomacy

  2. #GreenlandGate

  3. #SpyVsIce

  4. #HandsOffOurIce

  5. #FriendlyFrost

  6. #DenmarkGrillsUSA

  7. #NoBootsOnIce

  8. #CherishDontSeize

  9. #TulsiTellsAll

  10. #VanceVisits?

  11. #ArcticAllies

  12. #FindersKeepers?

  13. #StolenMinerals

  14. #BidenBaffled

  15. #WhenSpiesGoIceFishing

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Please Help Find These Forgotten Girls Held at Male Juvenile Prison for Over a Year!

  MY MOST IMPORTANT STORY  Dozens of Forgotten Little Girls Held at Male Juvenile Prison for Over a Year! Welcome to the Sunshine State , where the palm trees sway, the alligators lurk, and the legislative process makes Kafka look like a life coach!  Florida House Bill HB21 . Not just a compensation bill but possibly a 20 million dollar "Stay out of Jail Free" card for some folks. This is a bill that does some good—but also trips over its own shoelaces, falls down a staircase, and lands on a historical oversight so big, it might as well have its own zip code! An oversight that overlooks what I consider to be its most vulnerable victims! The Setup: Justice with a Catch HB21 was enacted on July 1, 2024 to compensate victims of abuse from two male juvenile detention facilities located in Florida, Dozier and Okeechobee.  It says, “Hey, survivors of abuse between 1940 and 1975, here’s some compensation for the horrific things you endured!” Sounds good, right? Like...
Post a Comment
Read more

We Are Temporarily Halting Further Publication....

Do to financial issues and lack of funding we are temporarily halting further publication. After a full year of publication, we have reached a bridge that we are unable to cross at this time. We may periodically publish an article but at this time, full-time publication is no longer feasible. Thank you to all the readers who followed us throughout our journey and we wish you the very best. Hopefully we will see our way through this rough patch and will resume publication in the near future. Thanks again! Robert B.
Post a Comment
Read more

Postal Police Stuck Behind ‘Keep Out’ Signs While Mailmen Face Muggers: You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!!

As crime against letter carriers surges, one would think that America’s armed, uniformed Postal Police might be hitting the streets to protect our mail.  Instead, they’re still glued to their post office entrances like sentries guarding Fort Frownmore.  Why?  Because since 2020, the Postmaster General decreed they must “protect postal property” only—meaning, they currently serve as glorified lobby bouncers rather than actual roaming guardians of the mailstream. “ They’re robbing letter carriers, they’re sticking a gun in a letter carrier’s face and they’re demanding arrow keys, ” laments Frank Albergo , president of the National Postal Police Union and a Postal Police Officer himself.  An "arrow key" in the context of the Post Office is a specialized, universal key that postal workers use to access various locked mail receptacles, including collection boxes, apartment mailboxes, and cluster boxes. Albergo isn’t exaggerating—research shows over 100 physical assaul...
Post a Comment
Read more