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Florida’s New “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” Law: Now With More Grady Judd Energy!

 

Florida has once again reminded us why it’s the nation's hotbed for legal creativity. 

Governor Ron DeSantis has signed into law a 25-foot buffer zone around first responders, making it illegal for you to hover too close to your favorite police officer while filming their every move. It’s about safety, people—not just theirs, but yours, too! 

After all, who wouldn’t want a nice, spacious radius around Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd while he’s working his magic? 

Speaking of Sheriff Judd—Florida’s hard but fair sheriff—if there’s anyone who will apply this law with precision and fairness, it’s him. 

Grady Judd isn’t just a lawman; he’s a legend. 

He’s the guy who can crack down on crime with a steel fist while somehow maintaining an everyman charm that makes you think, “You know, I’d like to have a barbecue with this guy, right before he throws me in jail for public nuisance.” Lol! 

Judd is the kind of leader who doesn’t just enforce laws—he embodies them. He’ll likely ensure that the 25-foot buffer is measured with the same precision as a NASA rocket launch, and if you break the rules, well, you’ll get a lesson on personal responsibility delivered with that signature Judd flair. 

 And let’s be honest: If cloning technology were legal (and let’s face it, Florida might be the first state to greenlight it), someone needs to swipe his hairbrush or scrape some DNA off his boots! 

Imagine a world where every county in America had a Grady Judd. 

Crime wouldn’t stand a chance! Plus, the TV ratings for press conferences would be through the roof!! 

Now, back to this 25-foot buffer..... It’s designed to keep people from getting too close to first responders during stressful situations. 

Yesss! Critics are crying foul, claiming it limits accountability and transparency.  But listen, folks.... have you ever been in the middle of a chaotic scene, only to have someone with a camera phone yelling about their “rights” while standing uncomfortably close??!!  

 If you’re Grady Judd, you’re too professional to lose your cool, but even he probably appreciates the breathing room. 

Let’s not forget about the Citizen Review Boards.  

They’ll still exist, but now in more of a backseat role. Think of them as the kid who gets to ride along but isn’t allowed to touch the radio.  

Sure, critics might say this is a blow to oversight, but again...—Grady Judd.  

If anyone’s going to ensure fairness while navigating this legal maze, it’s him. And for those worried this might stifle creativity, fear not!  

Floridians will undoubtedly find ways to work around the 25-foot rule. People will use Drones, telescopic lenses, maybe even rent a cherry picker to get the perfect angle.. 

We’re a resourceful bunch! 

So let’s take a moment to appreciate the brilliance of this law, the sheer creativity it inspires, and the reassuring presence of Sheriff Grady Judd.  

If the rest of Florida’s law enforcement follows his lead, we might just be onto something.  

 Now, someone go get that hairbrush—history demands it!

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