DOUBLE JEOPARDY = Damned if you Do or Don't!!

  Move over, Big Brother—there’s a new backseat driver in town, and it’s your own dashboard. As automakers shift from one-time sticker prices to recurring subscription fees for everything from hands-free driving to seat warmers, police departments across the nation are licking their chops at the digital breadcrumbs you didn’t know you were leaving behind. “Yes, Officer, I’d Like Fries with That Data” Remember when heated seats meant luxury and comfort? Now they pack the extra perk of a built-in rat: every on-off toggle, speed change, and GPS coordinate is logged and, in many cases, handed over to law enforcement—no court order required.  A recent California State Highway Patrol training deck (courtesy of a WIRED exposé) reveals officers studying manufacturer “telematics protocols” like Starbucks baristas memorizing your latte order. Subscription Model: Your Wallet’s Worst Enemy, Cops’ Best Friend For a modest monthly fee, you can unlock adaptive cruise control, real-time a...

In what experts are calling “the social network’s midlife crisis,” Meta Platforms unveiled its shiny new standalone AI assistant app Tuesday—because apparently, your fridge, your car, and your toothbrush weren’t already crowded enough by ChatGPT and Bard imitators.  Dubbed simply Meta AI , the fresh-faced app promises to answer your burning questions with the same joyless enthusiasm you’ve come to expect from Zuckerberg-era magic, now extracted from WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, and Messenger—so you can nag an AI without that pesky “social” element. Context Is King—But Only on Our Turf Unlike those riffraff at OpenAI and Google, Meta AI boasts “personalized responses” informed by your Instagram food pics, Facebook political rants, and Messenger group-chat GIFs.  Did you post avocado toast at 8:03 a.m. and a heated debate on your cousin’s conspiracy theory at noon? Expect a breakfast recommendation that includes tin foil.  The LLaMA 4 large language model powering this...

Move over, nosy neighbors—there’s a new breed of suburban snoop in town, and they’ve traded in glazed donuts for classified files.  Meet Ann Foley, part-time real estate wiz, devoted soccer-mom, and all-American wife… whose real résumé reads Elena Vavilova, veteran KGB deep-cover spy. From PTA to PG-13 Espionage Life in Cambridge seemed blissfully mundane: science fairs, weekend open houses, and the occasional bake sale. Yet behind the Volvo safety bumper and Little League pep talks lay a clandestine Kanji of Kremlin operatives.  Don Foley—er, Andrei Bezrukov—networked at Harvard’s Kennedy School while secretly decoding Moscow’s midnight radio dispatches. By day they were the poster couple for suburbia; by night, they were living proof that the KGB has a PhD in small talk. Red Flags That Weren’t You’d never suspect Elena and Andrei of espionage—after all, who could pin “sour cream enthusiast” and “Starbucks loyalty card holder” on a Russian national?  Their two sons t...

Move over, USS Gerald R. Ford—there’s a brand-new floating warship in town, and it’s got no deck, no crew bunks, and a distinctly zero-gravity vibe.  The U.S. Space Force has tapped Seattle’s own Gravitics to build the Orbital Carrier , a pre-positioned satellite launch pad orbiting some 250 miles above our heads.  Funded to the tune of up to $60 million by the SpaceWERX office, this shiny new space-base aims to deploy swarms of replacement satellites “on demand,” like cosmic pizza delivery for America’s spy-ship fleet. If you’re picturing Tom Cruise dangling from a catapult, you’re half right. The Orbital Carrier is essentially the aircraft carrier of the cosmos—except instead of F/A-18s, it launches maneuverable space vehicles programmed to plug gaps in U.S. orbital coverage.  Gravitics CEO Colin Doughan calls it a “game-changer,” noting that it “bypasses traditional launch constraints” so commanders can pick a parking orbit faster than you can say “launch window.”...

In a move hailed by shipping magnates and commerce advocates alike, President Donald J. Trump has called for all American military and commercial vessels to enjoy toll-free transit through the Panama and Suez Canals—an initiative lauded as a win for U.S. competitiveness and global trade efficiency.  “American ships, both military and commercial, should be allowed to travel, free of charge, through the Panama and Suez Canals!” the President announced on Truth Social, adding, “Those Canals would not exist without the United States of America.” Economic Booster Shot Supporters say exempting U.S. vessels from canal fees will immediately reduce shipping costs, lower consumer prices, and strengthen America’s export markets.  Freight forwarders estimate savings of hundreds of millions of dollars annually , money that can be reinvested into job creation and infrastructure back home.  One logistics CEO celebrated the proposal as “a needed shot in the arm for U.S. ports and prod...

In a plot twist worthy of a Hollywood heist flick, America’s official stash of 8,133 tonnes of gold is suddenly less “Midas touch” and more “where’s my touch?”  Rumors that Fort Knox might actually be Fort Fauxz have swirled since 1971, when a JFK adviser-turned-conspiracy-thriller author claimed the vaults were lighter than advertised.  Today, even the most hardened skeptics are whispering, “Maybe the gold walked off on its own.” A (Not-So-Grand) Cache of Conspiracy Back in 1933, President Roosevelt decreed Americans hand over their gold—and promptly revalued the yellow metal from $20 / oz to $35 / oz. The ensuing mining boom and transatlantic gold haul swelled U.S. reserves to a staggering 22,000 tonnes by 1949—half of all gold ever mined!  But as wars, welfare bills, and foreign aid gobbled up dollars, so, too, did the gold reserves dwindle. By 1965, our glittery war chest shrank by 40%. Bretton Woods and the London Gold Pool: A Golden Tumble The 1944 Bretton Wood...

  It was a simpler time when cruising past the food court for a burger and a “few harmless cocktails” at TGI Fridays felt like the pinnacle of suburban sophistication.  Fast-forward to today, and those gleaming neon signs proclaiming “In Here, It’s Always Friday” are starting to look more like a last-ditch cry for help than a promise of weekend bliss. From Mall Monarch to Speed-Dial Bankruptcy Born in 1965 on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, TGI Fridays exploded into a $2 billion behemoth that literally invented the Long Island Iced Tea—handing over a collective hangover to cash-strapped Gen Xers and Millennials alike.  By 2008, the chain boasted an army of 600 U.S. locations, each one staffed by waiters in red vests armed with trays of baby-back ribs and half-price margaritas.  These were the golden years: mall walkers mingled with burger lovers, all glued together by cheap drinks and the promise of vaguely Tex-Mex ambiance. The Great Post-Pandemic Shakeout Then cam...

In a bold, juicy move sure to squeeze some eyebrows, lawmakers have introduced a bill with enough pulp to make Tropicana tremble: the Defending Domestic Orange Juice Production Act .  This citrusy slice of bipartisan legislation aims to juice up the struggling Florida orange industry by—wait for it— lowering sugar standards . That’s right. Congress is finally tackling the tyranny of the brix scale . If you’ve ever wondered why that tiny refractometer reading can make or break your morning OJ, here’s the scoop: What is Brix? Brix measures the concentration of dissolved solids (mostly sugars) in a liquid. In oranges, a higher Brix equals sweeter, more flavorful juice. Winemakers use it too—to predict how boozy your chardonnay might get. How is Brix measured? A handy refractometer shines light through juice; the angle it bends reveals the sugar content. More bend = more sweetness. Why is Brix important? In citrus processing, Brix readings guide fruit quality and marketability...

  Brace yourselves, digital denizens—there’s a new con in town, and it’s hugging your wallet via Near-Field Communication (NFC).  Gone are the days when scammers had to be two feet away to clone your card. Now a mysterious (and very patient) cyber squad from China can capture your card details while you’re blissfully sipping latte, all through the miracle of “hold your plastic to your phone.” The Scam Rundown The Bait: You get an “URGENT” text or WhatsApp—complete with bank logo—blaring about a suspicious payment. Panic ensues. The Hook: “Call this number NOW,” it demands. On the call, a silky-voiced “security agent” convinces you your bank app needs “urgent verification.” The NFC Relay: You key in your PIN, then—like a trusting pigeon—press your card to your phone. Voilà! Your card’s NFC chip is beaming its secrets into the ether. The Payday: With your card data in hand, scammers make contactless purchases or withdraw cash halfway around the world, all while you’...

  In a plot twist more bewildering than an upside-down teacup ride, a former Disney menu maestro has traded Mickey ears for prison bars.  Michael Scheuer, 40, of Winter Garden, was sentenced this week to three years behind federal lock-and-key—and tasked with a nearly $700,000 “restoration fee”—after pleading guilty to hacking Disney’s restaurant software.  His crime? Turning allergy-safe labels into digital fairy dust and unleashing a buffet of chaos. Menu Mayhem at the Happiest Place on Earth As a Menu Production Manager, Scheuer once wielded the power to mark dishes “peanut-free” or “shellfish-safe” with a few keystrokes.  Between July and September, however, he recoded that trust into a Trojan Horse: Allergen Deception: He flagged dangerous items as allergy-friendly—thankfully caught before they slipped into soup bowls. Wine Region Woes: He “relocated” wine origins to areas freshly traumatized by tragedy. Oops? Off-Brand Easter Eggs: Menus sported swas...